What would I be without you loving me?

What would I be without you loving me?
I don’t mean this in a depressing way.
This is not some obsession I am trying to say.

My best memories are never alone.
I am with other people.
There are only a few great memories with me on my own.
I don’t like thinking about the times when I am alone.

My confession is one that will make others recoil.
The world is dying.
The news is hard to consume every day.
People are just one button away.
But yet I still feel so alone.
Why should I keep on living?

What motivates me is my companionship with you.
I want to see you.
I like talking to you.
I like learning about your reactions to the latest catastrophes that plague our phone notifications.

I wouldn’t get out of bed if life was not spent with you.
In you I have harvested energy. I have watched a story grow in front of my eyes.
This still not an obsession. This is a shared identity.
Identities are hard. People struggle with their own. Sharing one with others frighten some to the bone.

But I like we.
I trust our.
I love us.

What motivates me is my shared time with you.
I can get mad at you.
I love to laugh with you.
It is significant when we cry with each other.

I like knowing that there really is only one of you and one of me. In times like this, that is significant to me. It gets me out of bed. That takes me out of my head. My friends, family and loved ones get me out of my head.

What would I be without you loving me?
I would probably be in Miami, waiting to drown with the city.
Or I could be in Cali, choking on ashes in a valley.

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